So I woke up on Tuesday, my first day of being 30. What a different birthday. I actually felt older. I guess I always thought that I would be twenty something. This birthday felt like I had arrived into my adult years. So here is the upside.
Over the last ten years I have been changed. I feel as if God has been arranging some details in my life in order for a new start at 30. I am no longer addicted to anything...Well except for Melanie. But seriously, I am no longer addicted to pornography. I am no longer addicted to masturbation. I am no longer addicted to dipping snuff. I am no longer a liar. I am seeing my self as I am and I am actually liking it. I am no longer hiding behind secrets that Melanie does not know. I am not hiding from the truth of who Christ is in my life and what he wants to do. I am ready to embrace the challenges that He has for me.
Some of you may be thinking "Whoa he just went there!" and yes I did. I am done hiding. I am ready to pursue the things I have not in the past. I will pursue God through Christ. I will pursue Melanie. I will pursue my children. I will press deeper into the challenges of this life knowing that I am fully loved and fully valued. Knowing that no matter what I do or do not, my worth does not change. Knowing that the struggles do not define me, nor do the victories. I will fail and fall short, but I will get up and finish well, running towards the God who loves me. This next ten years will be different!
1 comments:
I have found, in my moments of decision, that you too will find, have found a new life that opens into a new area where walls can no longer be seen or felt except when we go back on our decision. I am thankful for you, my brother, and look forward to seeing you in the new area...
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